“God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes, Saturday, July 17, 2021
I'VE BEEN A WALKING HEARTACHE. I'VE MADE A MESS OF ME. "There was a time when it was practically a graduation requirement to get married before leaving Mission College," everyone joked. But Allan's time had ended without any prospects for a job or a wife. He found that social awkwardness had made him incompetent for dealing with teenagers. Every time he entered the school, it was like he felt like he was 10 years younger remembering what it was like to fit in with the cool kids or trying to be smart enough to be respected by the smart kids. And at this school, the kids were both cool and smart. Allan felt like neither. To top off reliving his high school traumas, he had to work very hard to impress his cooperating teacher, Mr. Barnes, whom the kids loved. Allan saw the ways some of the girls looked at Mr. Barnes, laughing at his perfectly placed jokes. He envied how Mr. Barnes's way with words, tying history and literature into life lessons. Every time Allan tried to tie a lesson together, he over analyzed the metaphor and it unravelled as he continued to scrutinize it. On the good days the kids just stared at him like he was an unbelievable side show at a circus. But most days they just ignored him as another student teacher that was coming through Missionary Academy, one of the main schools to which Mission College sent the student teachers. Mr. Barnes was kind in his criticism of Allan's teaching. Perhaps he saw a younger brother or possibly a little kid who lacked all confidence, and he was being forced to baby sit this kid. Mr. Barnes was just turned thirty a month or two ago, and he talked about his student teaching goofs that were still sitting fresh in his mind, but starting to cool as days of experience and teaching accolades started to flood his memory. "Your problem is your lack of confidence," Mr. Barnes told Allan one day after a particularly disastrous lesson on feudalism. "Stop trying to teach like me or Dr. Esso or anyone else and just be you. A confident you," he said, his blue eyes looking into Allan's eyes. In a truly Mr. Barnes way, he broke the calculated tension. "I was talking to my wife, and she wants to have you over for dinner. Are you free next week?
ON MY OWN I'M ONLY HALF OF WHAT I COULD BE. Callie Barnes had graduated from Mission College a year before. She was Allan's age. Because their majors were so different, he hadn't met Callie until she stopped by the school and Mr. Barnes had introduced his wife. The two had met as camp counselors, she was a freshman he was a senior at Mission College. The two of them made the perfect poster couple for Matrimony College, Mission College's nickname, Mr. Barnes, despite his thinning strawberry blond hair, his neat Ralph Lauren thin sweater andcool blue eyes and his curly blond-haired wife. "So, are you seeing anyone?" Callie asked. "Not right now. So much of the future is up in the air right now." "You know," Mr. Barnes interjected, "the reason you may have not met the right girl yet is she is younger than you," he looked at his wife. "Stop!" Callie playfully slapped her husband's arm. "Allan Teacher, I didn't catch line 15." It was several years later in South Korea, and he was teaching an adult Bible conversation class. This week, the conversation was about love and marriage, so Allan supplemented with the song "God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes (no relation to Mr. Barnes). Allan read the line for the students. "This song is so unrealistic," one of the housewives said. "It's the kind of song I would have believed before I got married." "Yeah, you start to find that marriage is all about endurance," another housewife said. "Wow, it seems that romance is dead," Allan said. "Let's talk about this song after you're married for a few years," the first one said. "But he's a man. He could never know about the cooking and cleaning the thankless work of raising helpless children, making sure they get to kindergarten on time," yet another chimed in. Allan was animated with this conversation. He had gotten to know this particular class for several terms and encouraged them to speak frankly. He was almost cheering as the students responded to the topic, even though they had used his singleness against him.
WE ARE STITCHED TOGETHER. "Well, fairytale or not, let's look at the verse that song song is based on. Genesis 2:23-24 says: 'The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh'" (NIV), Allan read. "As a Christian, I believe that marriage may not be like this song, but we have to make it work because God has made it." "So when are you going to do this?" a student asked. "I don't think he's ever going to get a girlfriend," another one said under her breath just loud enough for the entire class, even Allan, to break out in laughter. "Yeah, Allan doesn't even like girls. He likes boys," the only male student, a few years older than Allan, said. Allan had heard it before. It was a pretty typical joke in Korea that no one took too seriously. But Allan wondered if it was becoming more and more obvious, even at work, that he was struggling more and more to believe the Bible passages he was employed to teach.
Dave Barnes:
Blake Shelton:
*note, this video is no longer played on Country Music Television (CMT) because, unlike Barnes, Shelton and Lambert are no longer together. Interpret that however you like. A few weeks ago, Shelton married No Doubt front woman and solo singer, Gwen Stefani.
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