"나만 그래" (Am I the Only One?) by SF9, Wednesday, September 1, 2021
THE DAY IS QUITE LONG. EVEN WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME DAY. The Chunju institute consisted of two of the five floors in a humble office building located in an older section of town. On Monday to Friday, Allan took the elevator to the fourth floor, in a Korean building marked with the roman letter "F," as the number four in sino-Korean was bad luck. On Sabbath, though, the institute opened the third floor. The sound of piano and elderly voices screeching, but maintaining the tune of the translated Adventist Hymnal reached the exterior with the cold marble walls. All would gather in the small sanctuary, seated on lime-green folding chairs. A lot had changed since Allan first came to the institute over a year ago. Foreign Adventist members who not only worked at the institute, but also other private academies, in public schools, and even U.S. service members found a place to gather at the institute. Everything used to be translated, but little by little, the missionaries left--their contracts not renewed--and the English programs started to unravel. With fewer and fewer programs, the non-institute teachers started disappearing, as did the Koreans who spoke English. First it was Sunny. She got married to a man in Oregon kind of suddenly. Mi-young also got married after a short engagement to a farmer in Gyeonggi Provence. Jinny stopped working at the institute. No matter what rumors Pastor Shin spread to the congregation about her, it was really about pay, and everyone knew that she deserved more than what the institute paid. But whether it was a year and a half before or now, the constant that Allan looked forward to at church was seeing his tall friend. She stood out from the crowd, towering above grey and died jet black hair. Always wearing a colorful dress somewhat more fashionable than the remaining church ladies stuck in their Murphy Brown attire. Always with a girlish giggle that echoed on the cold marble floors that was just a bit inappropriate for the most solemn and holy occasion.
I PRAY THESE FEELINGS OF LONGING TURN INTO HATE. Whenever Kelly greeted Allan, it was as if she hadn't seen him for a long time. And as she worked at the institute off and on, sometimes the two hadn't seen each other during the week. They often talked in the foyer, catching up, gossiping about the state of the institute or church members or Pastor Shim. Sometimes their chattering would go into the church service, but the two had been scolded for this happening too many times, so they often made their way to the back of the sanctuary. When Allan first arrived in Chunju, Kelly was one of the interpreters, taking turns every week, standing beside the pastor. Kelly was one of the best interpreters, but others were sometimes painful to listen too, particularly if the sermon was dry. Now with only one foreigner attending, Pastor Shim decided that one of the remaining interpreters--usually Kelly--would sit with Allan in the back, explaining the sermon. With anyone else but Kelly, this was awkward. Allan had never been forced to be this engaged with a sermon in his entire life. He looked out at the congregation. They too reminded him of the days before when he could stare blankly, thinking about his relationship with God. He could think about something other than the sermon for a bit. He saw kids playing on their phones. He saw old men sleeping. He saw women whispering. With Kelly, though, he asked her not to translate everything. "Give me the main points. I want to see if I can learn some Korean." He would then ask her questions, and the two would eventually fall back into whatever conversation they were having back in the foyer. "She has a way of making it like you are the only two in the world," Abram observed one Saturday night they met in Myeongdong for dinner and shopping. "One day, though, if you don't make a move, she's gonna disappear. She'll pretend like it never even happened."
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