"crushcrushcrush" by Paramore, Wednesday, September 29, 2021
LET'S BE MORE THAN THIS. Critic Alex Fletcher commented on the single for having a "humongous chorus" but compared the group to Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne rather than serious acts like Metallica. But the band didn't set out to write a mature effort on Riot! While not glorying in the teenage experience like singer Olivia Rodrigo would do in her 2021 Sour, partially inspired by songs from Riot!, Paramore doesn't shy away from often embarrassing teenage experiences as fodder for their breakthrough record. When Haley Williams was 12 or 13, she says she had a crush on former bandmate, Josh Farro. He had a girlfriend at the time, so Williams wrote the song "Misery Business." "Crushcrushcrush" is also an immature song. Crushes impact us most when we're early adolescents, before we learn tactful ways to express our admiration. A crush begins as a little rushing flutter in the chest. We are selective in the details that we take in about the individual. We may start to idealize this person. Sometimes the spark can burn out with the wrong word, action, smell, etc. We may move on quickly to someone else. But if the initial spark catches the kindling, we may spend hours fantasizing what we will say if we ever get the chance to confess our true feelings. Crushes are universal, and when they don't work out, they can be rather crushing to our young lives. When we grow up we learn how to keep crushes intact. If you're both single and of a certain compatibility, go for it. If you are attached and they are attached, don't. Or watch the office drama blow up. It's your choice. But nothing compares to the unrequited teenage love.
THEY TAPED OVER YOUR MOUTH WITH THEIR LIES. The problem with a crush is that, rather than allowing the other person to be who they are, your thoughts manipulate that person into loving you. Essentially, you create a new person who can only exist in your mind. Even if the moment that you've been waiting for happens, and he kisses you when you slip away from the hayride at the youth group fall festival, he will never live up to your expectations. You, the damsel in the tower, have fantasized about how many ways you will be rescued. He's going to do his own thing. Or worse, he's going to leave you in the tower, and maybe date your sister. Josh, growing up closeted in a repressive Christian culture, was rarely honest about his crushes. He deceived himself to the point where he would have romantic crushes on the girls at church or school. But when the greasy skins of puberty started messing with his head, he found that it was the experimental sessions of a sleepover with a friend, a Pathfinder campout with another, and late afternoon closed-door covert conversations with the pastor's son excited him more than the girls they talked about in their forbidden chats. It was male bonding; one-on-one time, seeing a young man light up with arousal. Seeing that sparkle in his eye, hearing the hushed tones of a deepening voice, conversations about his or the other's body--these were the moments that Josh thought about more than the girls in his class. It's just a phase, he thought. I will grow out of this and be normal.
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