“Deeper” by delirious?, Thursday, September 2, 2021
THE WONDER OF IT ALL IS THAT I'M LIVING JUST TO FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH YOU. For me, delirious? is a bit of an embarrassing t-shirt I found in a closet back from middle school. This week's episode of Good Christian Fun drudged up old memories when I thought their music was the coolest. I bought their Mezzamorphis album in 1999 maybe because it also contained a version of "Deeper." The crazy electronic, noise pop to the dreary sounds at the end of the album was all I listened to on a rainy day, while I was reading a Hardy Boys novel. The following year, delirious? released their album Glo, which took the band in a more guitar-driven direction. About that time, I also started getting into Pink Floyd, but as a good Christian young man, I was worried about the psychedelic rockers influencing me to do drugs, and sometimes they cursed. Delirious, though, rather than singing about drugs and sex, sang about falling deeper in love with God. And they had some killer guitar solos, so while I enjoyed listening to Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall, my spiritual diet consisted of delirious as the main course, and sometimes some Pink Floyd for dessert. Embarrassing, right? I was disappointed with the band's follow up to Glo, Touch, the American reworking of the band's U.K. failed mainstream radio crossover attempt Audio Lessonover. Lyrically, Smith attempted to write love songs, which just came across as simple and uninspired. Musically, the band took all of the drollness of Mezzamorphis, but failed to add enough experimentation to make listeners come back to the record.
MAYBE I COULD RUN, MAYBE I COULD FLY TO YOU. I bought King of Fools later when I saw it in the discount bin at the local Family Christian store. I had high expectations for this album and I knew several of the songs from Delirious's double live record, Access:d. King of Fools was a fine album to listen to, but after my experience with Touch, my musical tastes were migrating away from CCM worship music. Touch had been released in 2002 for American listeners. King of Fools was an album of the time of Step Up to the Microphone by the Newsboys and Supernatural, the final dc talk album and sounded fine like these Christian Rock classics. But five years later, music was moving on. P.O.D. was blowing up on Rock radio. Earthsuit and the Benjamin Gate offered a sonically-driven harder rock sound, and delirious? decided to go back into writing less-interesting Praise and Worship stadium anthems. Flicker and Gotee Records put out tighter rock music. Eventually Tooth & Nail would enter their golden age, moving from low-cost production punk bands to Alternative music played on Read the lyrics on Genius. and Fuse. Delirious was just a relic of my CCM past, just missing the "best years of your life" era of music, which people say is the music that you listen to when you are 15 years old. But the memories of listening to delirious? in my bedroom, about longing for a deeper relationship with God, my mind filling in the blanks with what that means based on my understanding of sermons, Sabbath School lessons, and evangelical culture at that time, is best summed up by a feeling of being utterly alone with what some would call an imaginary father figure. It was a time when I introspected and ruled the depression of loneliness as holy. After all, if others are living the "worldly life," and I'm left out of their eventual downfall, I will be raised up to be with the Father and Son and Holy Ghost. An embracing old T-shirt that you wore in public until you were just a little too old that's somehow still in the bottom of your dresser.
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