“Months and Years” by Abandon Kansas, Friday, September 24, 2021

Prior to signing with Gotee Records in 2009, Wichita-based band, Abandon Kansas garnered radio play on RadioU as an indie band. The band recorded with Gotee for five years before going independent, partnering with BadChristian Music to release their final project, Alligator, an album in which lead singer Jeremy Spring talked about with the BadChristian Podcast as an album dealing with his personal struggles in the band/Christian band circuit, dealing with doubt, substance abuse, and depression. To some Christian music fans, Alligator was too profane compared to their previous works and other Christian Rock bands in the scene. To others, Alligator proved to be a refreshing take on authenticity which the confounds of most Christian record labels censored. After the album was released, the band planned to tour with the album, but ultimately personal issues forced Spring to cancel the tour. The band went on indefinite hiatus, but in 2019 they renamed the band to Glass Age, releasing a three-song EP titled Bloom and taking the band in a different direction. 

MOMENTUM IS HARD TO GAIN IN THIS KIND OF RAIN.  "Months and Years" is Abandon Kansas's first radio single, and talks about the passage of time when people are separated. It also chronicles the dreams and struggles of a band trying to define their purpose. It reminds listeners to look back on their dreams and look to purpose that brought them to the point of pursuing them. Today this song speaks to me as I'm reevaluating my role as a writer and if it's something I want to pursue. When I started blogging every day, I thought that it would be easy: just research and write about the songs that I love. I could discover new music and introduce my readers to my tastes in music. But little by little, I realized that the songs were shedding light on dusty corners of my soul that I felt compelled to explore. One of the reasons why I started writing again this year was to learn how to talk about myself, to tell my story--why I think the way that I do, how I adapted and shed certain beliefs. Yet, the process is terrifying at times, leaving me vulnerable to what the Internet has to say. I've been reflecting on my recent posts--since I started fictionalizing, since I stopped making every post about facts that I drummed up online--and I wonder what kind of writer I should be. Does this project continue into the next year? Do I continue to use it as my practice canvas? And ultimately, how can I ever find the time for rewriting when just writing a first draft takes up so much of my evening?

A COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE TURNED INTO SEVERAL YEARS. The Fall is often a time when I start to question my New Years Resolutions--the ones that have made it thus far. I go through depressive moods, often taking long walks, talking to myself. It's quite embarrassing if I run into someone I know. These long walks around the neighborhood around the walking path around the small lake or across the college campus near my house clear my mind. I question why I'm writing a blog about music. I question every core element and think about problems I'm having. Why something isn't fulfilling. I then make a plan about how to fix it. Hopefully, this gets taken care of in one long walk and one missed deadline. I've found, so far, with my blog that I haven't missed a day yet. Gym commitments, diet commitments, Korean study commitments, often have withstand the answer to these existential questions. Music does not need to answer that question. I've found that music is the answer. A song can take my mind to a special place. A song helps me imagine the possibilities of being a different person or being in a different place. I noticed that after college I was less open to new musical tastes. These days I might prefer a good Bruce Springsteen song to something screamo with a melody. I may not be chasing what's young and interesting--there's too much I missed from the past--but I refuse to let my love of music fade. In these next months, I will determine the genre of writing that will accompany the soundtrack. I will experiment. I will perfect. And I will be ready for another year of blog entries.





 

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