“Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia, Tuesday, September 7, 2021

In 1995, the band Ednaswap, a female-fronted rock band from Los Angeles, almost released their song, "Torn," as a single. However, nobody knows Ednaswap's version. Singer Lis Sørensen recorded the song in Danish as "Brændt" before Ednaswap recorded it in English. Ednaswap's version draws some comparisons to female-fronted rock bands of the time like Garbage or some songs by the Cranberries. In 1996 the song was covered by American-Norwegian singer Trine Rein, whose popularity declined with the release of her second album. None of the previous versions would be remembered by the English-speaking world. "Torn" is best known for its 1997 recording by Australian soap opera actress-turned singer Natalie Imbruglia, whose version topped the US Airplay charts for 11 weeks. In the UK, the song is the most played '90s song, and in Australia, it is the most played song on the radio since its release in 1997.

THERE'S NOTHING WHERE HE USED TO LIE. Of all the versions of "Torn," Natalie Imbruglia's captures the "1997 sound" best with the acoustic guitar and tight pop production. On the heels of Alanis Morrisette and Meredith Brooks, the Imbruglia's music video is also a relic from the past. The video shows Imbruglia singing the song and shooting a scene in which something clearly changed between the actors. They fake their affection when the camera roles, but they constantly have to reshoot because the non-verbal communication between the actors is off. Actor Jeremy Sheffield plays the boyfriend who is the "illusion" who "never changed into something real." He can't get into the romantic scene and looks to Imbruglia wanting feedback, but Imbruglia looks more and more dismayed and withdrawn as the video progresses. A song like "Torn" should have spun more singles for Imbruglia. Several songs charted in Australia and Europe; however, to Americans, she is known as a One Hit Wonder. I remember hearing "Torn" years later on Adult Alternative radio when I started listening to some non-Christian radio around 2002. Perhaps I came across the song scanning the radio for a Christian song, and the lyrics about the shame of misreading an adult relationship reminded me of Christian music's use of shame for all things sex-outside of marriage, so I thought this song may have been a Christian song in disguise. After all, in 2000, '90s Christian rocker, Australian-American singer Rebecca St. James had released the abstinence anthem "Wait for Me," which was used at True Love Waits rallies. I'm probably not the only '90s/2000s kid who has mistaken the message of these two songs as being the same: sex is bad. "Wait for Me" is the positive example of waiting until marriage, "Torn" is the what happens if you don't: you feel dirty, used up, and torn.

LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR. Rebecca St. James was 23 when she released "Wait for Me." The singer wouldn't marry until 2011 at the age of 34. She remains a proponent of sexual abstinence until marriage. This easy one-size fits all solution was what Josh was taught growing up. Sex was dirty outside of marriage and would always leave you feeling terrible if you broke the sacred covenant with God. In college, he felt the urge to tattoo 1 Corinthians 6:20 on his groin, particularly when the temptation was strongest to act on his homosexual urges. If ever he should reply to one of those websites, and he were to swallow that empty feeling and fight the shivers for however long the drive would take, certainly the question would come up to interrupt the heat of the moment after shirts were tossed on the floor and pants were at the ankles. And if this man were not to ask why there was a Bible verse girding Josh's loins, a glance down would remind him of the Baptismal contract, that his body was God's and not for his own pleasure. But the tattoo would have made him think before getting into the car, if it wasn't the stories circulating about gay hooks gone wrong, turning to murder or public humiliation with Republican senators. But how long can you wait? How long is biologically possible? How long until lust becomes anger? How long until anger becomes bitterness? How long until bitterness becomes rage? On January 1, 2014, Josh made a vow to lose his virginity before 2015. Moments of shame and holiness made him forget this resolution for days, weeks, even months. But by the end of the summer, he became more and more committed to the idea. So he took to the Internet.

Read the lyrics on Genius.

Ednaswap version: