“Absolute” by The Fray, Sunday, October 10, 2021

If it wasn’t for Grey’s Anatomy, we probably would have forgotten The Fray. The massive number-three hit “How to Save a Life” surpassed the band’s first single "Cable Car" (Over My Head). But the band of Denver-area former worship leaders failed to keep the listeners of the top 40 interested with their ‘90s-piano-driven coffee shop rock. The reviews were fairly negative when the band released their sophomore self-titled record. Rolling Stone said the album was “nothing new.” Entertainment Weekly commented that the album was “all blah, all the time, minor-key melodies and more dreary tempos. But Christian radio play for the single “You Found Me” and record sales kept the band going for two more album cycles. The Fray may not be the most exciting group, but there is something about beautiful about the insights that can spark from their ordinary songs.

IS THIS ALL WE GET? The Fray started when childhood friends Isaac Slade and Joe King played music together in Christian high school. Slade was a son of missionaries and spent part of his childhood in Guatemala and learned piano at the age of 11. Eventually they would recruit drummer Dave Welsh and lead guitarist Ben Wysocki. The core of the band remained the writing talents of Slade and King. Slade sang most of the songs and King added back up vocals on many of the band tracks. King got married at the age of 19, but divorced in 2011. He wrote the song “Never Say Never” about his marriage. The song is about two people “Pulling apart and then coming together.” Perhaps these were the marital problems that were alluded to in the song. It’s a pretty common story in the evangelical world. The church gives young people an ultimatum: young marriage or celibacy. And most people don’t know who they are at 19.

IT’S A KISS THAT SITS UPON HER LIPS. “Absolute” is the second song on the album, which tells an all-too familiar story of romantic incompatibility. It sounds similar to the album opener by the time it gets started, but rather than opening on piano, the song starts with guitar. Like “Never Say Never,” the song is based on relationship incompatibilities. “She wants to be a dancer.” He’s always away, presumably in the military, but it could be a metaphor for the touring life of a musician. The moment hinges as woman in the song “waits to tell [her partner] who she is.” The song asks the question: “Is this all we get to be absolute?” The question is a strange one. To be absolute means “free of imperfection.” Usually we ask, “Are you absolute?” after asking, “Are you sure?” So is this the only chance to be absolutely sure? Do I pursue a dream that will make me happy or a relationship with someone who isn’t on the same page as me? I often wonder about at what point I’m going to feel I’m living. We often think in terms of the dream life. It’s the dream job and the dream toys we buy for ourselves. We long for the moment we arrive. At the same time, we may look back at the glory days. That time in college or high school when you didn’t have much but friends to fool around with. You lived in the future back then, you live in it now. Maybe you wake up one morning and realize, it’s not going to get any better than the number 3 spot on the Hot 100. You realize that maybe what I’m doing now is really all I’ll get. Of course, if we think this way, we will certainly always be looking at when we peaked and never reaching new heights. Still, it’s nice to appreciate that life is happening now. The opportunities we have today and tomorrow might be it for us. Take that moment and have that uncomfortable conversation.

Studio album version: