“Breathing Underwater” by Mike Mains & the Branches, Thursday, January 13, 2022 [Trigger Warning: Suicide]

In an interview with Brandon for Your Favorite Band Podcast in 2016, Mike Mains said that he was heading into the studio, hopefully releasing singles by “February, March, [or] April”of the next year. The project was delayed with the first singles, today’s song, “Breathing Underwater” and “Endless Summer,” being released in 2018, and the album When We Were in Love being released five years after their 2014 sophomore record, Calm Down, Everything Is Fine, in 2019. Mains told Brandon that his new record was going to be "lyrically darker." With the 2018 Mains' singles, the band was announced to signed to Tooth & Nail Records. Their third record deals with themes of marital struggles, depression, suicide, and redemptive love. The two-year delay is probably best explained by Mike and his wife/bandmate Shannon’s marriage counseling and Mike’s struggle with depression, which are alluded to throughout the record.

IN THE MORNING OVER COFFEE. “Breathing Underwater” follows a narrative structure starting with the speaker confessing to his wife one morning "over coffee." On an episode of Labeled, Mains explains that "Breathing Underwater" outlines the process of Mike and Shannon going from their lowest point in their marriage to getting on the path to recovery. Mike maintains some level of privacy. We're only left with lyrics like "I broke everything" and "I am your worst mistake/ You are my everything." Whatever Mike confessed, sent his wife "far away." "What[ever the speaker] did in the dark," infidelity or trying to commit suicide, the speaker laments that he "was gonna to be [her] shelter," and his inability to be her shelter plunges him into the suicidal fantasy in the second verse. Though he is making progress with his therapist, the easy way out is "kissing the traffic/ God it'd be so quick." He then fantasizes about the spiders and worms eating him. This is not the only reference to suicide on When We Were in Love. The final track, "Swamp," Mike fantasizes about his wife leaving for a man who is a better version of him. He says "I think I'll drink too much/ And pull the garage door down/ And let the engine run."

LET ME SOAK UNTIL I’M CLEAN. Like the album's preceding track, "Around the Corner," Mike Mains bends the dark lyrics into the light. Echoing Psalm 51, in which David begs God for forgiveness from his adultery with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, Mains begs for his heart to be washed with bleach in the river. In the Labeled episode, Mains talks about how sad songs make him feel better. I have to agree with Mike. Everything seemed to be going wrong today. It was mostly minor things, but what set me off was trying to buy a new iPhone at a department store, only to be told that my credit card wasn't eligible for that particular offer. I left the store in a huff, cancelling my order. I thought I had checked everything out. My card wasn't the exact flavor to qualify, though. I decided to forego anything joyful--no nice lunch or bread to take home for my partner--and just get on with my errands. On the subway, I thought, "I have a phone that works ok, what makes me think that I deserve a better one? I'm truly blessed with all that I have. Why do I want more?" I know that a sobbing story about an iPhone deal that fell through is literally the definition of a first-world problem. No relationship was broken, no one died, and I saved almost $1000 (that I'll probably spend another time). And all the while, I think, "Certainly someone has a real problem. So I shouldn't feel this shitty. But I do."

Read “Breathing Underwater” by Mike Mains & The Branches on Genius