“Dismantle.Repair.” by Anberlin, Sunday, February 20, 2022
DIDN'T WANT ANY PROMISES. The truth was, though, that I had already listened to the album, except for the final track, "(*Fin)," on MySpace a week before the album hit stores. The band had released singles before the album preview. "A Whisper & a Clamor" was played on Christian Rock radio, "Godspeed" was on PureVolume and MySpace. They also released "Dismantle.Repair." at some point in 2006 or early 2007. And though I don't remember the exact, I do remember it was a warmish day and I was at work trying to access my MySpace account on an excruciatingly slow DSL connection on an ancient computer, only to be interrupted by a phone call that kind of changed my life. But that's a story for another day. The lyrics of "Dismantle.Repair." stuck in my head, a simultaneous hope of genuine change and the doubt that people who say they're going to change are just bullshitting themselves and everyone else. The charged lyrics made me wonder who the song was about and who was wrong in the relationship? Was it the other person? Was it Stephen Christian? And who was wrong in my situation?
ONE LAST GLANCE FROM A TAXI CAB. Two years ago Stephen Christian talked with American Songwriter about "Dismantle.Repair." The article pointed out as all Anberlin fans know, "Dismantle.Repair." is one of the band's concert staples, despite it never receiving radio play (Christian or Alternative Rock) or having a music video. In fact, even though the band recorded four albums after Cities, songs from Cities and their second album Never Take Friendship Personal appeared in their set lists at a similar proportion to the album they were actively promoting. In the interview with American Songwriter, Christian breaks the seemingly minor detail of the song's title and its deliberate use of punctuation. He says: "With ‘Dismantle. Repair.’: a dismantle period is a process and it’s about – that song is about – breaking down what you think you know about yourself and then repairing it all again and coming back to life and transforming ideologies and philosophies." He goes on to give examples about when this dismantlement and reparation can happen:
[T]here’s a lot of moments in life that afford us that. Moments like, when we
leave to go to college and we’re not under our parents’ wing – who are we going to
become? Or, when we move to a new city by ourselves. You know, it’s just us
against this new world; that’s another moment. A death in the family, a
monumental birthday, the birth of a child: all of these [occasions] are life giving us
moments to end the sentence, to stop right there and break it all down and build it
exactly how we want it.
Every day we're given new opportunities to become the person we want to be. Every major change happens and we can take the opportunity to be a better version of ourselves. But sometimes there's the uncomfortable process of tearing the old structure apart. I'm about to start a new school year, and the mistakes I've made as a teacher can be rectified with a fresh perspective. I'm about to move into a new apartment in a new neighborhood, and it's an opportunity to try something new. It's been an uncomfortable process of dismantlement. A lot was out of my control. But I have the tools to repair. And repair I must.
Studio version:
Live at Williamsburg acoustic tour recording:
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