“I am not a woman, I’m a god” by Halsey, Saturday, October 29, 2022

 

Ashley Nicolette Frangipane, or Halsey, released If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power in 2021, recording with Nine Inch Nails members Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. The production leans into Nine Inch Nails’ industrial sound, making Halsey both a rocker and a dark pop artist on her latest album. The emotions are high in the singer's latest record; Halsey called the album “a concept record about the horrors of pregnancy and childbirth.” 

EVERY MORNING GOT A HOLLOW WHERE MY HEART GOES. The album’s cover features Halsey sitting on a throne with a bare breast exposed and holding a baby, inspired by various artistic depictions of the Madonna and Child, Mary and the Christ child, a kind of crèche scene, though the focus seems completely on the “god” herself, not the child. Some of the themes on the record deal with the singer’s bisexuality and non-binary gender identity. As of last March, Halsey claims both “she/her” and “they/them” pronouns. Wrapped into the fabric of Halsey’s music is also the singer’s struggles with being bipolar. “I am not a woman, I’m a god” is a song that explores several thematic dichotomies: love from others vs. love from self, love vs. vengeance, self doubt vs. arrogance, and of course, humanity vs. divinity. The album’s first single makes a claim of arrogance, but quickly undermine its message, at least in a Judeo-Christian understanding of a god. Instead, we’re left with a flawed matriarchal goddess with prolactin hormones pulsing through her body and who will not accept anything less than pure worship. If she doesn’t receive it, that person is dead to her.

SO KEEP YOUR HEART ‘CAUSE I ALREADY GOT ONE. The almost hip-hop claim to be “a god,” in truth, troubles me because of my Christian upbringing. One of the first things we learned in Sabbath School was memorizing the Ten Commandments, and you don’t have to get very far to realize the claims of this song. As I read the Old Testament, I always wondered why the Israelites always wound up worshiping other gods. Did they actually see results from their religious infidelity? I didn’t even know that there were people who weren’t Christian when I was really young, so I thought that worshipping something else other than an all-knowing, all-present god was kind of dumb. But then later we were taught about how worship is really just devotion to something and that’s why we shouldn’t get too attached to worldly things. I’m sure there were a few jabs at American Idol, though I can’t remember. I do remember talking about idols like loving your car too much or why we shouldn’t get too much into a certain Christian Rock band because those things can become your idol. Years later, I was disturbed (and a little intrigued) to find out that there were sexual fetishes like “foot worship” and “muscle worship.” In an episode of Song Exploder Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons says that he “worships” his now ex-wife. I guess I have more of an issue with “worship” as a Christian humanist, in which I believe all people are equal, and if there is a God he (she, they, it, etc.) is above us. But I know that this is a weak argument.

Read the lyrics on Genius.