“Hummingbird” by Tyler Burkum, Saturday, December 17, 2022

I’m at the time of year when I start assessing my new year’s goals. And I got to an existential crisis for the blog. I wondered what I’ve achieved with it other than keeping it going. Sure, there have been improvements in font, links, story, and research, but I thought about if a daily post is really sustainable in the coming year. I’m mulling a few ideas over. I’m considering changing the focus of the blog.  

YOU CAN ALWAYS COME HOME. I thought about all the things the blog is, but I thought it was actually more helpful to think about what it is not. First, it’s not a reputable music blog. The amount of time I have and my lack of formal music writing training and lack of connections in the music business make this a purely fan blog as I report about my daily obsessions and Wikipedia reading. Second, it isn’t a novel or even a memoir. I shot down that ideas last year after experimenting with the idea, in favor of the story of the song, but I think that may have been the direction I should have gone. I often think of the "song a day" format as a lesson plan--the amount of information I give my students about something before I have them go experience it for themselves. But I didn't want to turn this into an ESL blog. So what has this blog become? I'm telling the same stories over and over again, adding more information, but there's only so much time in the day. I considered ending it this afternoon when I had chosen Tyler Burkum's "Hummingbird" as the song of the day, but the lyrics weren't on Genius and I was racking my brain how to retell the same stories about the former Audio Adrenaline, Leagues, Mat Kearney, and current NEEDTOBREATHE guitarist. But walking home in the cold sparked a few new ideas. 

YOU HAVE A QUIET WISDOM. I thought of my writing as my child. I don't think I'll have children of my own, something that I've come to realize. And realizing that I have to leave something behind. I feel compelled to do something so that my life isn't just like brushing shellac onto a wood chair that someday rots and no one remembers the chair. Everything I've written remains in fragments. I'd like to believe that one day before my death, as part of "getting my affairs in order," I will compile everything I've written and somehow I can write a connecting story and produce something like Proust's In Search of Lost Time. So what then is my blog but recommending to others my taste in music. How is that valuable? What my blog is really is an experiment. It's playtime to practice skills of writing, designing, filming--whatever I want it to be. I want to create something beyond literature, something beyond social media, beyond a musical playlist. I want to create a mixed-media novel/movie/drama for my ADHD generation and the even more ADHD generations coming up. So, I will be pushing myself to be open to new possibilities. 

Read the lyrics on Genius.