“Forget and Not Slow Down” by Relient K ft. Tim Skipper, Thursday, February 9, 2023
Kicking off Matt Thiessen’s break up record, the title track of Forget and Not Slow Down introduces listeners to the themes of the record. I’ve talked about how Forget and Not Slow Down has a shadow story, one in which the Relient K frontman ends his engagement with radio DJ Shannon Murphy. While I have not seen any statements from Thiessen about the meanings behind the tracks on the album, I’ve referenced Murphy’s story that seemed pretty damning toward Thiessen, and it doesn’t seem that there were any libel lawsuits. Forget and Not Slow Down was a record that helped me through a difficult time in life, so I will be forever grateful to Relient K, but I’ve also had to think critically as to whether or not the album is too problematic to enjoy. So today I’d like to talk through my judgement of the band’s 2009 record.
HOW MANY TIMES CAN I PUSH IT ASIDE? “Forget and Not Slow Down” shows a youthful resilience toward the ending of a relationship. The songs on the album deal with a range of emotions, from “gathering regret” to moving on. The first track serves as a kind of overture to the record, the product of a long process of emotions. Later, we’ll hear the details—the trips to “Savannah,” the long drives in Eastern Tennessee in “Therapy” and “Over It.” But we’re only getting half of the story, and that’s important to remember when enjoying the beauty of this record. “Forget and Not Slow Down” is an anthem about not overthinking mistakes, and the record feels like a “pushing aside” of Thiessen’s guilt in the relationship’s end. What’s worse is that Thiessen invokes God into the argument, without admitting specific fault. The song and album allude to Thiessen’s mistakes, but he’d rather forget about it and move on. The album feels like Psalm 51 without David admitting guilt for adultery with Bathsheba or the ensuing cover up. Then it gets worse at the end of the album. Thiessen gaslights his ex. In “If You Believe Me,” Thiessen states that “If you believe me, we could stand the test of time like no one else. He also says, “you had a hand in this too.” This may be true, but it’s an unproductive conversation. In “This the End” and (If You Want It), we get Theissen unrepentant, “shrugging off” his personality flaws. He doesn’t want to be tied down. He doesn’t want to “move into boxes” because he has an “itch to move on.”
POUR OVER ME AND WASH MY HANDS OF IT. I’ve made a pretty good case for me never to listen to Forget and Slow Down ever again. If we’re just listening to Thiessen’s argument and if we apply the same logic of “Forget and Not Slow Down” to our own lives, we’re going to have some serious issues in our human relationships. Whether or not this is unfiltered Matt Thiessen around 2007 or 2008 doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been growth. But I’m more interested in the “Forget and Not Slow Down” aspect. In Christian music and Christianity admitting faults, also know as sin, is unpopular, particularly if you have a large platform like one of the biggest pop-punk bands. Many Christian artists endured public divorces. Hiding the fact that it happened seems much better for one’s career than facing it head on. But the implications of “Forget and Not Slow Down” is even bigger. Sometimes it’s hard to admit to yourself that you are actually at fault, but rather call upon God and look for faults in the other person that made you do something bad, but not as bad as them. It’s the story of every religious scandal. It’s the story of every Christian family trying to save face, never admitting that there’s a problem. But just as when Frank Constanza yells “Serenity now!” in Seinfeld and as Gob takes roofies which he calls “Forget Me Nows” whenever he wants to forget something that he has done, everyone who tries to “Forget and Not Slow Down” will have to slow down eventually. And that break down can be quite devastating.
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