“Colliding by Design" by Acceptance, Tuesday, April 11, 2023
One memorable scene in Dante's Inferno depicts two lovers tormented in the second layer of hell. The lovers in the second layer have been sent to hell for their lust, and as a punishment, they must blow in an unrelenting wind, possibly symbolizing their lust on earth and their lack of commitment to one partner. Two lovers, though, continuously blow past each other, touching for a second at a time before they blow in opposite directions.
BREATHING IS SO HARD IT HURTS. No, the title track from Acceptance's sophomore record, Colliding by Design, is not about eternal conscious torment, but there is something hellish about unrequited love. The production sounds show us what we could have expected to hear on the radio if the band had been afforded the opportunity to stay in the pop/rock culture in the late '00s and early '10s. The early 2017 release of Colliding by Design came like a spring breeze, bringing accessible pop melodies highlighting lead singer Jason Vena's vocals, as crisp and clean as we remembered them twelve years earlier on Phantoms. The title track, though, is a perfect love song about the uncertainty of an early relationship. Punctuated by a guitar riff that sounds like it was borrowed from a New Wave band like A Flock of Seagulls, the lyrics take center stage. Imagery of a breezy spring evening with the night coming to a natural close and the decision: kiss or blow away with the night. The speaker is direct in making this suggestion, and he believes that the feelings are reciprocated.
THERE'S A LOOK IN YOUR EYES; YOU WANNA STAY. "Colliding by Design" immediately brought me back to college and the two times that I made things weird between me and a female friend. I didn't date in college. I was one of the few male English majors, and I made a lot of friends. I usually felt comfortable just being friends, but sometimes I felt pressure when my roommates or male friends went on dates. I thought I should want this too. And I did. I didn't want to be alone for my life. And I thought I was attracted to some of my female friends. Nothing ever felt sexual, but I thought somehow with God's blessing it would one day. Both times that I made things weird were in the spring--two different years. I replayed the rejections from those conversations time after time. What wasn't I seeing? Was I too ugly? Was there something stamped on me that said "friend zone only"? Did I walk around with a bugger in my nose that I couldn't see in the mirror? Over ten years later, I see it a lot more clearly that I was completely uncomfortable with myself. I tried to be someone that I thought that others wanted and denied myself. It's not an attractive quality. And I think that when I confessed admiration, I hadn't left enough hints before that because I didn't actually like those girls the way that the drama in my mind played out. Years later, I gained confidence and had no problem asking out boys. It was natural for me, like a missing puzzle piece I had spent years hiding under the sofa and had tried to force a puzzle piece from another puzzle into the spot.
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