“When Love Sucks” by Jason Derulo ft. Dido, Thursday, June 29, 2023

In college, I loved watching Adam Buckley lambaste the worst pop songs of the year on his channel A Dose of Buckley. Then a few years ago Todd in the Shadows appeared in my YouTube feed, and I got to listen to his somewhat whinier snide takedowns of the years’ hits. In one video, Buckley gives his insights as to how he gets views. He says that he makes controversial statements about popular songs, and then allows the algorithm to feed them to pop stans who then share the video online, making the video go viral, ultimately boosting the popularity and notoriety of the host who, because of his statements, must remain in the shadows. I’m not really sure if there are any Jason Derulo “Stans” out there, but let’s all admit: “When Love Sucks” is a perfect recipe for a flop.

MY TEA’S GONE COLD. Those who have nothing original to say, really shouldn’t be making a pop song. Not in 2023. Then again, we are in the midst of a '90s early aughts nostalgia that really doesn’t know what to do with itself. The latest tracks from David Guetta are a prime example of this. I haven’t written about Jason Derulo yet, and I don’t have much criticism of his songs. In college, I thought what you said was actually pretty catchy as was in my head. In the ‘10s he had a few songs that were fun. Buckley and Todd in the Shadows covered a few of the songs, but I didn’t think that they were of much note. But I had a hard-to-articulate reaction to "When Love Sucks" when I first heard it in Spotify playlists of recent pop songs. First of all, I clicked on the track and saw that Dido was a featured artist. Cool, I miss her. Instead, it was a sample from an old track. Completely uninspired, Derulo samples, 1998’s “Thank You,” a song that was at the conception of the Internet slang term stan because the song was sampled on Eminem’s 2000 hit “Stan.”

YOU'RE THE BEST AND WORST I'VE HAD. My reason for the critique of this song is twofold. For the first, refer to what I wrote about David Guetta's "Baby Don’t Hurt Me" for this argument. In 2023 I think it’s very important to ask the difference between an homage and a cheap grab at easy content. Maybe it’s a problem that comes from a generation raised on blockbuster sequels to the point where we have a hard time finding what is truly a good use of an allusion. A sample of “Thank You” should not exist outside of “Stan,” unless there’s a damn good reason—say a film or musical or installment piece by an avant-garde sculptor that lost their mother when buying groceries to that song, for example, of course. But that brings me to the second part of my criticism: what is it for? Hook up the song is the Dido clip that has been sped up to drain the song of its emotion. Sad with tropical House beat. Derulo sings about lost love in a fast song. It’s an emotionless performance. And there’s so much cultural wait to Dido’s "Thank You" that it being a love story is completely unbelievable. The songs are separated by 24 years of culture. The processing on the Dido track makes it feel like she’s trying too hard to be hip, but i feel like that’s something that she never intended. It’s not dido but rather a producer manipulating the recording. But that’s just my thoughts.

Official Audio: