“DJ Play a Christmas Song” by Cher, Saturday, December 23, 2023

Hark! An unexpected gift has appeared under the tree this season, and it’s a gift for us all to Cher. That’s right, this year Cher has released Christmas, a combination of jukebox Christmas favorites (and non-Christmas songs made festive) and new jingly jams. Unless you’re a Jack McFarland-level fan of the corset-wearing pop star, you probably haven’t thought about the 77-year-old star since, well, 1998 when the contralto brought autotuning to the mainstream with her mega comeback hit “Believe.” For millennials like me, it was my first introduction to the singer. It was also a rarity for a singer popular during my parents’ generation to score a number-one hit on pop radio. And while Cher's latest Christmas single, "DJ Play a Christmas Song," has not yet hit Billboard's Hot 100--it's peaked at 115 so far--the song has topped Billboard's Adult Contemporary chart.

THAT’S THE ONLY THING I WANT THIS YEAR. Cher’s Christmas is a little anti-climactic after being frontloaded with its banger “DJ Play a Christmas Song.” Duets with Stevie Wonder, Cyndi Lauper, Darlene Love, and Michael Bublé don’t exceed the original versions in the way that Dolly Parton’s latest album, a rock covers album, doesn’t add much to the artists she duets with. But if there were a second track to follow up “DJ,” it would have to be the duet with Tyga, “Drop Top Sleigh Ride,” which has the line “I’m only a jingle bell away.” I first learned about Cher’s Christmas when the hosts of Good Christian Fun discussed new holiday albums of the year. When they played a preview of the album, I wanted to dismiss it as purely kitsch, and certainly “Drop Top Sleigh Ride” is pure kitsch. I haven’t revisited the song since the podcast, and I have a feeling that listening to the song ironically will get old soon. However, after Kevin T. Porter nominated the song “DJ Play a Christmas Song” as the best Christmas song on the next week’s episode, the song started getting stuck in my head. It was marketed to me on Instagram a few days later, and now it’s a tune I will never get out of my head.

IT’S COLD OUTSIDE, BUT IT’S WARM IN HERE. Cher has been performing “DJ Play a Christmas Song” on many talk shows this holiday season. Kelly Clarkson loved the song so much that she covered it in her Kellyoke series. While I think that Clarkson’s version sounds more like a song that I would listen to under normal circumstances, even if the lyrics feel a little cheesy; it’s Cher’s voice that solidifies the catchiness of the song. It’s that private moment after drinking too much coffee you have to mimic her voice to get the full effect. And by mimicking Cher’s voice I begin to channel her confidence. Could I be starting to understand why she’s a gay icon when I didn’t get it until now? But what really makes the hit infectious is the not-so-subtle call back to “Believe.” Both songs heavily use autotune, but the added bells and cliché holiday chord progression make “DJ Play a Christmas Song” sound like it’s the Christmas version of “Believe.” The two songs also share a producer--Mark Taylor. I’m not sure if we’ll be returning to this song next year. Is it just a holiday novelty hit? Or will the warm feelings of dancing the night away in a discotheque become a holiday standard? This year, I’m caring so much less about the musical cred and just focusing on what’s, um, interesting.