“Chapstick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry” by Relient K, Monday, March 11, 2024
Two wrongs don’t make a right, and neither do two lefts. But take a third left, and you’ll be back on course. In 2003, Relient K released their third record, Two Lefts Don't Make a Right . . . But Three Do. For a band that prided themselves on a teenage sound, Two Lefts was starting to show signs of maturity with singer Matt Thiessen using pop culture as a vehicle to touch on deeper topics such as growing up, spirituality, and love. It served as a bridge between the band’s early sound and their refined crossover appeal on their fourth album, Mmhmm. The band experiments with hardcore punk and Emo, as the music scene was shifting away from jocular pop-punk.
THEME PARKS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN THE SUN’S OUTSIDE. Relient K’s third record, Two Lefts Don’t Make a Right . . . But Three Do, opens with the upbeat first single “Chap Stick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry.” The song talks about going on a field trip to an amusement park and makes several references to cell phones, dating back to when companies limited users’ daytime minutes. Thiessen says that he “lost [his] phone somewhere in the lake on the Batman ride,” probably referring to a now-closed ride, Batman: Knight Flight which was at Six Flag Ohio before the park closed and rebranded in 2004. Six Flags Parks have hosted Christian Rock festivals, and with Ohio’s RadioU sponsoring events and several local bands, Relient K frequently played at the park in the summer. The first song on Relient K’s third album is a reminder of how many church kids would have experienced Relient K.
OK, SO WHO DOESN’T OWN A CELL PHONE? “Chap Stick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry” takes a lyrical turn at the end of the song, almost like a wonky sermon illustration. The message is about relationships “and not just with girls.” The second track on Two Lefts Don’t Make a Right. . . But Three Do, “Mood Rings,” caused a TikTok controversy in 2022, causing the band to apologize for the sexist lyrics. Making the “Mood Rings” controversy worse was the 2004 book the band released called The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind, which took its title from the final line of the song. The book categorizes different types of girls in high school, in what seems like mild incell language. In recent years, the band has distanced themselves from the contents of the book, claiming that they contributed very little to the book and that they hadn’t actually read the final product. So when Thiessen claims, “When it comes to relationships” and adds “I’m the dumbest one,” why on earth would anyone read a book or trust what a rock band made up of immature young adults have to say about how to treat, much less categorize others? The answer can probably be found in the insular teachings in evangelical churches at the time. I don’t think that Relient K was trying to harm us, but hearing the repackaged patriarchy from the cool young kids was damaging nonetheless. And if Relient K simply stayed in the Christian tradition, this conversation would be much less interesting.
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