“Death with Dignity” (Live) by Sufjan Stevens, Tuesday, May 7, 2024 (repost)
Sufjan Stevens' 2015 album Carrie & Lowell is a heartbreaking album in which the singer-songwriter deals with the death of his mother. The opening track, "Death with Dignity," is the beginning of an album that chronicles Stevens' grieving process and the real and imaginary conversations between Stevens and his estranged mother. Carrie & Lowell was a rare peak into the personal life of the elusive singer, and unfortunately, grief was necessary to make a personal project.
WHAT IS THAT SONG YOU SING FOR THE DEAD? Earlier this month, Sufjan Stevens revealed an album borne out of another tragedy. And while I have yet to dig into Javelin and grieve anew with Sufjan, this time for his late partner who died last April, I feel that "Death with Dignity" would get me ready to digest this incredibly sad album. The song with its wispy plucked guitar in five chorus-less verses introduces folklore and Biblical imagery to memorialize his mother. While the song is specifically about Carrie, Sufjan's schizophrenic, negligent mother, there's enough universality to make the listener empathize and feel whatever grief is in their soul. Perhaps that's why the song was selected for the emotional premiere of NBC's This Is Us. The song both conveys joy and sorrow--the upbeat picking in a major scale pairs well with the cinematography of the show--Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) and Rebecca (Mandy Moore) in the '70s conceiving and their triplets on a sunny morning, the warm autumn morning sunbeams peaking in through the shutters. The sadness is also conveyed when the family doctor convinces Jack and Rebecca to say something about "life handing you the sourest of lemons and using them to make something that resembles lemonade."
AMETHYST AND FLOWERS ON THE TABLE. Forgiveness is somewhat of a dirty word. I grew up with a fear of not forgiving. The pastor said in a sermon that if there is anyone you've not forgiven, you can't go to heaven with the bitterness in your heart. At that time, I wondered if we should forgive the person who is unremorsful? How do we make sure that we're not taken advantage of again? Thinking back on that, I realize how many vulnerable people were in the congregation; people suffering from truly evil things done to them. Forgiveness is a process, and it can't be forced. Carrie & Lowell is a beautiful portrayal of forgiveness as it naturally happens. Learning to forgive your parents for the mistakes they made when raising you is always a process, and when there are clear signs of abuse, forgiveness may be impossible. I'm in no position to say that a victim must confront his or her abuser with forgiveness. I think that anyone who forces forgiveness on a victim adds another layer to the abuse. Music, church, scripture, and poetry are no substitute for mental health professionals, and it's criminal how pastors have assumed that role. However, just as an album like Carrie & Lowell helped Stevens deal with his grief, so can art and religion be a supplement to our healing.
Live version:
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