"(*Fin)" by Anberlin, Saturday, April 15, 2023 (updated repost)

February 20, 2007, Anberlin released the album that defined their career. Most fans don't remember the release dates of their favorite albums. As for me, I only remember two album releases off the top of my head. The first is P.O.D.'s Satellite because it was released on September 11, 2001. The other album release I know by heart, as do the fans of Anberlin, is Cities. Anberlin fans call February 20th "Cities Day," still to this day. In the five years that I've been doing this playlist project, I've celebrated Cities with a different track. In 2019, it was "A Whisper & A Clamour." In 2020, it was "Hello Alone," as I dealt with the depression of what looked like Armageddon. I wrote about “Godspeed” in November of 2022–that year I wrote about “Dismantle.Repair.” and this year I used “Godspeed” as a jumping off point for discussing the entire album. In 2021, I wrote about the album’s closer, "(*Fin).” The themes of spiritual abuse in the song are, unfortunately, as relevant as when it was released. This is what I wrote about it back in 2021:

WE'RE NOT QUESTIONING GOD, JUST THOSE HE CHOSE TO CARRY HIS CROSS. Everyone remembers 2015 when #MeToo swept the world. Victims of sexual abuse used this platform to call out not only those who wronged them, but also the systems in place that both allowed and enabled sexual abuse to happen. Shortly after #MeToo's popularity, #ChurchToo and #SilenceIsNotSpiritual appeared as a platform for people of faith both currently practicing and no longer practicing to call out spiritual leaders who had abused their power. Little by little society has become more educated about abuse, and not only sexual abuse. I'm not a survivor of sexual abuse, but I think it's time to start taking spiritual abuse quite seriously. WebMD defines spiritual abuse as "Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs." Last year when I started listening to the You Have Permission podcast, I was able to put a name to the trauma I experienced in the name of religion. 

THE UNHOLY GHOST DOESN'T TELL MARY AND WILLIAM EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. Like white supremacy and misogyny, spiritual abuse is embedded in the church so much so that people can fairly call the whole system abuse. Readers of the Bible are not without textual evidence that the clergy have used for almost 2,000 years to extort money or manipulate followers to do things that they would otherwise not do and threatening hell to those who don't believe or do. It's a tale as old as Western culture itself of the child molesting preacher or the "do as I say, not as I do" cult leader who manipulates believers into bed. But it's deeper than that. It's the belief that's taught that your church is the only correct one, and all who stop attending are lost. My church taught that non-believers weren't going to burn for an eternity in hell, but if they left they were talked about in such a judgmental way that I was always scared to leave the system. "Jesus gave it all for you, don't you think you should give or do _______," was the final persuasion point of sermons. I mean, how can a child say no to doing that for Jesus. Finally, there may have not been eternal hell, but there was certainly the end times to keep you up at night. And as a further manipulation tactic, we were taught that no one knows who will be saved until the very end. So you better watch out, you better not pout, you better not cry, I'm telling you why...Jesus is coming, and you'll only have to endure being hunted down and watch your family members be killed in front of you and if you love something or someone too much, you'll be too attached to the world in order to be saved, they you can't be resurrected and live forever with God. "

TAKE WHAT YOU WILL, WHAT YOU WILL “(*Fin)" is a song for processing these feelings. Lead singer Stephen Christian has sorted out his beliefs, and now serves as a pastor in central Florida. But not everyone has or will. The cliche is that Christians can write songs in minor keys, but they must end on a major chord. This song ends Anberlin's darkest album on a major chord, but I'm not sure if the question is really answered. I've gone through several iterations of my own faith, and still, I feel that the question isn't answered. Stephen Christian is now a pastor in Florida when he's not signing in Anberlin or Anchor & Braille. His own father was a pastor, the stories in (*Fin) have to do with his constant moving around as a child and the strange teachings he heard in church. So is this a story of continuing the system of abuse or dismantling and repairing it. I hope that it's the latter.

Read the lyrics on Genius.