“this is me trying” by Taylor Swift, Thursday, April 13, 2023

 

Taylor Swift is in the gossip columns again, but this time it feels less invasive. On April 8th, the story broke that Swift and six-year partner, English actor Joe Alwyn split. The once media-deemed serial dater held her longest relationship with Alwyn, and there had been rumors that the two had held a private wedding. Swift and Alwyn began dating around the time when the singer went into semi-seclusion following the critical backlash from her 2017 record, reputation. 

I'VE BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME ADJUSTING. Unlike previous relationships, Taylor Swift worked especially hard to keep the details of her romance with Joe Alwyn out the public. Two years after reputation, Swift released Lover, a mature record that dealt with the joys of being in a relationship on many of the tracks. Love empowered Swift to return to her fans with a stadium tour, but the pandemic canceled those plans. And Swifties and general music fans have the pandemic to thank for the songwriting and production of Swift's eighth and ninth studio records, folklore and evermore. And on folklore, Swift collaborated with Alwyn who contributed to the songwriting on several of the tracks, including today's track, "this is me trying." Like many of the songs on folklore, the song seems to have some autobiographical details, but ultimately feels like Swift is writing about a character who she merely relates to, though not fully. The Jack Antonoff-produced track starts off melancholy but the refrain. The listener is bogged down with the troubles the speaker lists, and it convinces the listener that the speaker indeed has struggles, whether it is of addiction, fear of failure, or isolation in a relationship. And the refrain "This is me trying" seems like enough.

AT LEAST I'M TRYING. When folklore was released, Joe Alwyn used the pseudonym William Bowery to hide his identity from the press and fans. When Swift dated Calvin Harris in 2015, she also used a pseudonym to throw off the press when she co-wrote the hit "This Is What You Came For." Harris, however, leaked the secret. Swift learned from her mistakes and media missteps, so it seemed that Alwyn was "the 1." The specific details of the break up haven't yet been confirmed. However, as highlighted by the recent Eras Tour, Swift is an artist whose career changes in cycles. A teenager whose star kept rising culminated in her mid-twenties with pop stardom, a laidback alternative singer-songwriter in her early thirties, and back to pop stardom by her mid-thirties, Swift can do anything. But she needs a man who can keep up with her, who can adapt to different phases in her career. Love takes effort from both parties. The pandemic made many of us question our life decisions. We hunkered down, maybe with someone we love. Maybe we got out of shape for the rest of the world. But at some time it was time to get out of that rut. The question is, is the person that you were with when the world felt like it was ending the person you want to be with when the world feels like it's starting again? Maybe you tried and tried to make it work, and you made it through the transition. That's great. However, others put in just as much effort and found that the relationship was lacking. If you put in your whole effort into the relationship and it still didn't work out, at least you tried and you know something about yourself.

Read the lyrics on Genius.