"Tell Me How" by Paramore, Friday, January 13, 2023 (Updated Repost)

 2017's After Laughter is arguably the best Paramore record both lyrically and musically. Musically, it's a pop album borrowing synths from the '80s, interesting drum arrangement, and some pensive guitars here and there. And although most songs are in major keys, lead singer and lyricist Haley Williams masterfully disguises some of the band's darkest lyrics with smiles and summertime vibes. The name of the album itself is telling. Haley Williams explains that the meaning is the expression the faces of a room full of people stop laughing. Smiles start to fade, maybe some tears are wiped away. While you may debate whether this band fits into their emo punk rock sound, the lyrics are an unadulterated emotional roller coaster.

I CAN'T CALL YOU A STRANGER, BUT I CAN'T CALL YOU.  Winter days are the time for last tracks of the album. Cold days indoors with instrumentals make you reflect on life and relationships. As a piano ballad, "Tell Me How" doesn't pretend to be happy, like most of the rest of the album. While other telling tracks like "Rose-Colored Boy," "Fake Happy" and Pool" show this beautiful confusion between being the life of the party and dealing with other things inside, "Tell Me How" is a reflective track that drops the pretense of the party. It's the song for sweeping up the broken bottles and weeping about the fact that the party didn't solve any of the problems--just hid them for an evening. With lyrics that reference the lawsuits and turmoil that the band had been through as well as the personal cost of losing friendships over differences of opinions, Williams speaks her truth, and it's a story that's all too relatable. I wrote about the Paramore controversy several time, but the song that I had chosen was before the great disagreement and the lawsuits took place. This song is the last song on the latest Paramore record, which is basically a war story. The contributors at Genius Lyrics do a great job breaking down the lyrics of this song with quotes from both parties. When a relationship sours, there's no real healing.

YOU MAY HATE ME, BUT I CAN'T HATE YOU. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-23). This song reminds me of a sermon I heard growing up based on this passage. The pastor said that if you can't settle your disagreement, you are not ready for heaven. This bothered me to the core. What was even more disturbing was that the people who agreed this message the most had a blindspot for resenting a neighbor or family member. I want to live as a peacemaker, but sides in a disagreement can't always be glossed over. Sometimes the reconciliation with a brother or sister takes years and the sacrifice sits at the altar for years. "I've got my convictions, [and you've got yours]... and no one's winning. Tell me how I'm supposed to feel about you now?" The outro ends the song with some hope, as if Williams comes to a moment of realization that friends don't have to make up, but that letting go of the hard feeling is freeing. 

Read “Tell Me How” by Paramore on Genius.